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Mon, Jul. 4th, 2005, 09:56 am

Title: Laid
Author: Serpentis lord_alexander
Pairing: Monaboyd.
Rating: NC17. So NC17.
Summary: A little story of rough kinky sex and sexual obsessiveness.
Disclaimer: Not mine. If they were, they'd be on Ebay.
Feedback: is my Britpop. It's my crack. It's my Pulp, Placebo and James.
Author's Notes: It started out as PWP but got a plot somewhere along the line, and first person is fun, I forgot how much I liked it. This is songfic - don't run! It's not obvious! It's based on the brilliant Laid by those Britpop boys James. Best band of the nineties for me, I swear, they're fantastic. Look, it's a song about kinky sex and obsession, how fantastic are they? So, we have *looks* alleys, biting, bondage, bruises, cross-dressing, domination, eyeliner, knife-play (no bleeding, well, not much, teeny bit), obsession, wrestling, other stuff.

Have fun.

This is for kraken_wakes. After all, she loves James and I need to make it up to her as she had Zombiefic nightmares, bless her.

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(Deleted comment)

Mon, Jul. 4th, 2005 11:11 pm (UTC)
pippinmctaggart

MMMMMM, I love it when Sal brings the kinky. :D

This was dark and dirty and painful and if it had been left that way, I think I might have been too uncomfortable to like it. But you let Billy break and love was spoken and my happy-ending-addicted heart was made gleeful. Fantastic, as always. :)

Mon, Jul. 4th, 2005 11:17 pm (UTC)
serpentisfix

*licks*

I was so tempted, but as my last fic had bad things happen, I thought I had to be a bit happy or people would start wibbling too much.

Tue, Jul. 5th, 2005 12:25 am (UTC)
bite_me_luv

O_O

OMFG..

and the bastard, the fucking beautiful bastard, is cool as ice . . . It's a show, fuck, I know that . . . expression and melancholy and the glimmer of complete amusement Oh Dommie, I know how it feels to get high like this..

Brilliant. HOT.

Thank you!

Tue, Jul. 5th, 2005 07:53 am (UTC)
serpentisfix

*snuggles and manages to control sneezes*

Thank you ever so much for reading and leaving feedback, it's something lovely to wake up to.

Tue, Jul. 5th, 2005 02:09 am (UTC)
unbrokenmuse

Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous. ::falls into hormonally induced coma::

Tue, Jul. 5th, 2005 07:58 am (UTC)
serpentisfix

*gives you chocolate to induce rising up from the fascist arms of the coma into the communist perfection that is LJ. Or something like that*

Tue, Jul. 5th, 2005 05:48 am (UTC)
nickelsandcoats

The image of Billy in a corset killed me. omgsohot.

*memories*

Tue, Jul. 5th, 2005 07:59 am (UTC)
serpentisfix

Something about men in corsets that is wibble inducing.

*smiles*

So pleased you enjoyed it.

Tue, Jul. 5th, 2005 11:12 am (UTC)
bibliotech

eeeee

Tue, Jul. 5th, 2005 11:12 am (UTC)
serpentisfix

*grins*

Tue, Jul. 5th, 2005 12:26 pm (UTC)
rane_ab

Wow. Just, wow.

I know everybody's already said it, and I sure don't have anything new to add, but here goes:

It's funny: I usually only read first-time fic, because it gets to me more, but this sucked me in, right at once. And I guess that, if you ignore the fact that they are already fucking, it is something of a first-time fic.

I love the smut, obviously, but especially the fact that you managed to turn it into something more; the way we can see their relationship evolve, and spinning out of control. It's obsessive, dizzying, crazy, right and wrong at the same time. And you wrote that so very well, I could feel all those emotions, too.

I like the little details that seem almost like contradictions: small, compact Billy, but he's the one topping. How it's Dom saying 'How about it, Bill?' and Billy is the one who takes things far, too far perhaps, who loses control. How Billy is the dominant, how he can be so in control, but at the same time, lose it so badly. That it's Billy who screams when he comes and Dom who's silent. They make the story feel so real and so, well, twisted.

Like when I look and see bruises and bite marks that they're there because they're there for a fucking reason. Not a quick shag, something else, you know?

I really like that bit. Because, yeah, it makes sense, those bruises and bite marks are like marks of possession and being possessed, and perhaps, in Dom's mind, loved, but at the same time you can already feel in the fic that Dom's not quite comfortable, there, that he's not just gaining something new, but that he's starting to lose and miss the way their relationship used to be; that there relationship is inching toward something more dark and dangerous, in spite of the good moments, and it's just so sad that he's getting hope and comfort from something that's not making him feel entirely comfortable, something that's perhaps a bit too hollow or perhaps too intense for him. Um, if that makes any sense. It's just a moment that expresses both genuine hope and a feeling of false hope, like it might end badly.

I also like the part where he's laughing because Billy can't get a proper hold on him with all that oil, and that feels more like the 'old' Dom and Billy, trying to get one over the other, like part of Dom's trying to get back to that (or that's how I read it).

Got me hands roped together behind my back with his dressing gown cord and lashed to the door handle.

And that's just... hot. I don't have a thing for cutting at all, but I love how you described the knife, that it's not some fancy, big, cool-looking knife, but something familiar and simple, which just makes it feel more real and intimate. And how you added 'you've probably got one', that just draws the reader in even more.

Like he's forcing an orgasm that I'm desperate to have, sneaky fucker.

I love that, as well. Billy, always needing control. And the desperation in his kiss when he kisses Dom some time later on.

And then the moment when it finally hits Dom, when he can't deny that things aren't right. Fuck.

Tried dumping him a few days ago. To get back the old Billy? Didn't work, backfired when I was tied to my bed and he was bringing me to the point of orgasm endlessly, not letting me come. I whispered for him to let me go, please, and there was something in it that stopped him.

That's just absolutely heart-breaking. And then Billy leaving, in the end.

You're not supposed to be in my head. Go away, Bills?

That, too, is just such a sad and desperate bit.

And then, when they finally hold hands again, and Billy's just like the old Billy? Perfect moment, that.

And how they try and rebuild there relationship into something a bit more healthy, which would also include the way their relationship was before sex got involved. It's so hopeful and the perfect moment to stop.

Well, to put it more briefly: I really loved this fic, and it was brilliantly written. :-) Thanks so much for sharing it!

Tue, Jul. 5th, 2005 12:41 pm (UTC)
serpentisfix

*speechless*

That is a bloody essay, that is.

Thank you - really. Thank you for that brilliantly thought out crit, it's excellent. Wow. Officially the longest feedback I've ever had.

*hugs tight*

Tue, Jul. 5th, 2005 07:24 pm (UTC)
asanyfulekno

I love your Dom pov, because it sounds so natural - it's as if I can hear it in my head. And this was wonderful, because I'm a sucker for a happy ending, yet it didn't feel forced; it flowed.

Tue, Jul. 5th, 2005 07:26 pm (UTC)
serpentisfix

Stream of consciousness (almost) is really fun to write, it's one of my favourite ways. And I'm glad you liked the ending.

It wasn't going to be happy, see?

Tue, Jul. 5th, 2005 08:04 pm (UTC)
asanyfulekno

I saw that in your reply to an earlier comment. And, of course, if you had decided not to end it happily I'd still have read and enjoyed it - that's your authorial privilege. But I'm glad you did.

(and I forgot to mention that I love the song it's based on. James at the Barrowlands in Glasgow was one of the first gigs I ever went to.)

Wed, Jul. 6th, 2005 03:59 am (UTC)
msilverstar

This is so fantastic... Dom's internal voice is wonderful, the progression seductively dangerous, and the end satisfyingly twisty. If this is songfic, I want more!

Wed, Jul. 6th, 2005 07:42 am (UTC)
serpentisfix

I got the Beatles in me head now:

Shake it all baby,
Twist and Shout...

Hmm, don't even like the Beatles, dammit!

I'm so pleased you liked it.

Sun, Jul. 17th, 2005 12:59 am (UTC)
loozy

I'm stunned into awed silence.

Mon, Jul. 18th, 2005 10:02 am (UTC)
serpentisfix

*pets you and de-stuns with a halibut*

Mon, Jul. 18th, 2005 11:05 am (UTC)
loozy

What'd a halibut?

Mon, Jul. 18th, 2005 11:25 am (UTC)
serpentisfix

An 'uge fish.

Mon, Jul. 18th, 2005 11:51 am (UTC)
loozy

Daft me... I'm an idiot... Should have known... Just colour me stupid *blushes furiously*

Mon, Jul. 18th, 2005 12:33 pm (UTC)
serpentisfix

It's 'uge. Like twenty miles long.

*nods seriously*

Thu, May. 31st, 2007 07:13 am (UTC)
morebliss

How had I never read this before? Hot like burning, but real and emotional and, just fantabulous!